Why I Take My Son to Youth Group by Tim Walker

It’s funny how much I knew about parenting before I became one. I had all these absolute statements and strong ideas about what I would and wouldn’t do—usually based on how I felt my parents handled something or based on something I observed around me. “I’ll never let my kids pitch a fit in the store.” “I’ll never tell my kids, ‘Because I said so.’” 

I knew so much—until I brought my son home from the hospital. Then I realized how little I knew. And it doesn’t get any better. Each new stage, each year, brings new challenges. Just when I think I have things figured out, some new surprise comes along. Now I look at new dads and have empathy instead of criticism. 

I also have a new perspective on how my parents handled things, and realize that while they didn’t handle every situation perfectly, I’m certainly not capable of perfection either. There are too many factors that go into seeing a situation so clearly—my own history, my fears, my mood, plus my wife’s history, mood, and fears. 

So at this point in the journey, with a middle school student in my house, I can honestly say I don’t know everything about being a dad. But I do know one thing—I can’t do this alone. 

I can sense it every day. I can see my son looking for some other figure in his life, in addition to his dad and mom. I can feel him wanting to be a part of the grown-up world, and have other adults in his life who can connect with him. Cooler adults. Adults who can throw the football better than me. Adults who like the same teams he does. 

And as much as I think I can be all that for my son, the reality is I can’t. I need other people. I’m not stepping down from my job. I’m still here as a dad, but I need other people who will pour good things into him. I need other people who will reinforce some of the things I’ve tried to teach him about God, about character, about being a man. 

That’s what youth group is for me. It’s that place where my son can connect with other teens, but also other adults. I don’t expect my 20-something student pastor to give me parenting advice. In fact, honestly, I would be a little insulted if he did. When he becomes a parent and has teenagers, then we’ll talk. But the thing the people in that room get that I struggle with is how to connect with my changing son. That’s what they are passionate about. And quite honestly, that’s what they are good at. Whether it’s through playing a silly game or having a time of worship, they are passionately pursuing ways to connect with kids like my son. 

That’s why I drop him off at youth group. That’s why I pay the $10 for an outing, or sign the permission form, or become the carpool for his friends. Because I know I can’t do it alone. I also know that I have a role to play here. I’m still dad, but to help my son move to adulthood, I need other adults pouring into him as well.  

Walking Wisely Weekend

Every year, [re]Wired plans a getaway for students – Walking Wisely focuses on the “horizontal relationships” and choices that students will make when it comes to friends, dating and authorities. This is another great opportunity for students to open up to each other about life and its challenges as leaders help steer them toward faith solutions. The girls will be staying at a Lodge in Mt. Airy GA while the guys will be camping @ Stone Mtn. The cost is $35 and you can sign up @ www.rewiredevents.info. We will leave @ 5 pm Friday Oct. 15 and return by 6 pm Saturday.

Why Students Don't Stick Around After High School

Hey Parents!
During the past 13 years in youth ministry I've seen so many students be committed to Jesus and the local Church throughout Middle School and into the High School years only to graduate from their faith at the end of their Senior year. At some point in High School a lot of other things begin competing for their attention. Again & again I see teenagers get a drivers license, sign up for a sport/club/activity, get over committed, and lose connection with the Youth Ministry, and especially Small Group Bible Study.

The problem is that so many times we can look at the years leading up to the "spiritual vacation" and see that it was preceded by a series of decisions that disconnected the teenager from the Youth Ministry. Whether it was a job that kept them away from Church, a girlfriend or boyfriend that didn't feel comfortable at youth group, or a sport/activity that met during youth group....if building relationships with other Christ Followers wasn't a priority then the majority of these students dropped out of the Church almost completely. In fact, this may even be your story and it wasn't until you had kids or God got a hold of your heart in some other way that you reconnected with the Church.

So many times I have parents in my office who are heartbroken that their teenager doesn't want to be involved in the local Church anymore.

This is why I believe "Grow Groups" (Small Group Bible Study) are so important for High Schoolers.....especially guys.

God did not design us to grow completely on our own. He has wired us to grow in such a way that requires relationships with other believers.

If we want teenagers to mature in the fullness of Christ (Eph. 4) then it requires the body of Christ to meet together (Acts 2:42).

EVERY student I know who is still involved in ministry & the Church after their graduation was a part of a small group Bible Study in High School.

While Small Group was not the only ingredient in the spiritual growth of these teenagers, I am convinced it played a vital role. This is where relationships were built, they were held accountable, and they were cared for by a Godly adult speaking truth into their life.

My prayer for your teenager is that they graduate High School in love with Jesus, follow him passionately through their college years, and develop His servant's heart.

I believe that it is essential for your High Schooler to be involved in a Small Group Bible Study.

Our [re]Wired "Grow Groups" meet each Wednesday from 6:30 - 8:30 PM @ The Warehouse (183 HD Atha Rd. Monroe).

Each group studies God's Word and is then given time to put the Bible into practice by developing a ministry team within their Grow Group.

These ministries include food pantry, ministry to single moms, clothes closet, and several more.

I am praying for God to use these Grow Groups in the life of your teenager to help them mature into the Christ-like young man or woman God desires for them to be.